Journey in the static

Thoughts that strike.
A conclusion, disfigured.
Too much, all too much.

[Pause]

The world shatters.

[Cosmic Solo 1]

[Pause]

Gone without direction.
Nowhere — without world.

[Pause]

A presence — across, wide.

[Pause]

A frozen whirl,
darkness in darkness,
a spark of interest.

[Pause]

Felt, shared: “What are you?”

[Pause]

Pierced, read, judged,
Unyielding,
through marrow.

[Pause]

A cosmic blink.

[Cosmic Solo 2]

Dismissed into body.

[Pause]

World there, I gone.

[Pause]

Voice in my head.
Inevitable.
Unbidden mockery?

[Pause]

Dangerous will, razor-sharp.
Cold sweat — was that me?

[Pause]

Gaze outward.
Strange.
Stranger.

[Pause]

Nothing is certain.

[Pause]

Something remains.
Nameless.
In the static.

[Pause]

Who am I?

[Outro]

War in my mind.
A nothing rears up.
Prayers, unheard.
Sleep as refuge.
Functioning.
Surface smooth.
Eyes straight.

[Chorus]
Straining against meaningless.
Straining against the strain.
Love for all,
except me.
Breathing after that.

[Verse]
Pointless, pressed.
What for?
Free — to be.
A dream.
Faith in an after,
forced through.
Empty slogan.
Bitter.

[Chorus]
Straining against meaningless.
Straining against the strain.
Love for all,
except me.
Breathing after that.

[Verse]
Mouth locked tight.
Quarantine. Preventive.
Tears, dry, alone.
A cautious you.
Misunderstood.
Life pulls on.

[Chorus]
Straining against meaningless.
Straining against the strain.
Love for all,
except me.
Breathing after that.

[Verse]
Mantra for healing.
Self-rust, near empty.
What never shatters?
Nothing to say,
nothing to do,
no I here.

[Chorus]
Straining against meaningless.
Straining against the strain.
Love for all,
except me.
Breathing after that.

[Outro]
Love for all,
for me — maybe.
Breathing after all.

[verse 2]
Wisdom sharpens focus,
a plan lies in my hand.
Philosophers seem certain —
so I turn to study Kant.

[chorus]
I know that I don't know,
yet something draws me near.
This searching keeps on pulling —
will I find meaning here?

[verse 3]
All the ancient thinkers
must hold some hidden key
to depths of understanding
of a self in misery.

[verse 4]
The problems that I'm facing,
the questions pressing through —
they must be in their pages,
if I just read them true.

[break]

[verse 5]
So I begin my journey —
and what am I to find?
Yes, thinkers have their burdens…
but hardly close to mine.

[chorus]
I know that I don't know,
yet something draws me near.
These doubts keep pushing onward —
what starts to form in here?

[verse 6]
I search for pearls of insight,
turn idealist in heart,
for consciousness, in dawning,
is where my questions start.

[verse 7]
I learn the "limits of reason,"
the edge of unknown land,
and that the world I'm seeing
lies far from what I planned.

[break]

[verse 8]
No outer and no inner —
there's only what's inside.
The inner looks like outer,
as worlds reverse their sides.

[break]

[verse 9]
The mind we use for thinking
walks on its dual beams.
We only can identify
the "things" we name in schemes.

[break]

[verse 10]
But none of this I'm seeking —
thought-things can't lead me on.
I need a path beyond thought:
a point, not just a zone.

[chorus]
I know that I don't know,
but something's pulling near.
The searching only deepens —
what waits behind the sphere?

[verse 11]
Where do I find an entry?
A raft to cross the line?
For thought keeps birthing thought yet —
a loop without design.

[break]

[verse 12]
Hold on — where am I going,
if I myself am goal?
The journey can't be endless —
what walls divide my soul?

[verse 13]
My gaze now turns to inward,
into a quiet, softer being —
not outside, not quite inside,
just a deeper inward seeing.

[break]

[verse 14]
"When words fall into silence,
true life begins again."
Feuerbach in the moment —
without pressure, without strain.

[break]

[verse 15]
Perhaps it's HERE that wisdom
breaks through the soul's distress.
Dig here — follow your longing,
and end in gentle rest.

[Outro]

A whisper of enlightenment,
my soul tilts an ear.
There must be something to notice —
but where do I find it — here?
Insight is my passion,
the path toward it my aim.
Research after research —
leads only further, little gain.
Understanding Zen is tricky,
in fact, it’s even wrong.
There’s no “wrong way round” in Zen —
the cow rides the horse along.

[Chorus]
सोऽहम्
(So’ham)

तत्त्वमसि
(Tat tvam asi)

सोऽहम्
(So’ham)

तत्त्वमसि
(Tat tvam asi)

[verse]
So I wrestle through the teachings,
just like one thinks one should.
From philosophy to doctrines —
honest path, but not much good.
Pages full of words,
but none of them truly speak.
I’m searching for seeing eyes —
for presence, for something deep.
Living masters,
guides in being.
A trace of something —
that I can try as a key.
In.

[Chorus]
सोऽहम्
(So’ham)

तत्त्वमसि
(Tat tvam asi)

सोऽहम्
(So’ham)

तत्त्वमसि
(Tat tvam asi)

[verse]
I find true teachers —
and all they say is: “Stop!”.
Teachers without a teaching.
New. Unexpected. Top.
So here I am in satsang,
in presence, face to face.
Hearing of transmission,
watching, smiling — finding grace.
Everyone has a story,
something that pulls them through.
Enlightenment, so they say,
is meant to free you from it, too.

[Chorus]
सोऽहम्
(So’ham)

तत्त्वमसि
(Tat tvam asi)

सोऽहम्
(So’ham)

तत्त्वमसि
(Tat tvam asi)

[verse]
My story reaches far —
and some of it you know.
How does experience turn to story?
And what — what’s left below?
Is the thinking about all this
a mirror of yourself?
Do you think the thoughts you choose —
or do you fall into their spell?
Questions upon questions,
mind like carried weight.
Back into satsang —
here there’s nowhere to escape.

[Chorus]
सोऽहम्
(So’ham)

तत्त्वमसि
(Tat tvam asi)

सोऽहम्
(So’ham)

तत्त्वमसि
(Tat tvam asi)

[verse]
Your baggage gets a spotlight —
that’s one courageous stride.
You face the demon directly:
can you stand its side?
Yes, you can.
Do you make the cut?
Do you trust your mind?
Do you buy into its story?
Feel that now in your gut…
There is a kind of silence.
Bring it into your head.
Feel only what you’re feeling —
steady — even when you dread.

[Chorus]
सोऽहम्
(So’ham)

तत्त्वमसि
(Tat tvam asi)

सोऽहम्
(So’ham)

तत्त्वमसि
(Tat tvam asi)

[verse]
And enlightenment?
What about her?
I want the bliss —
and you talk about hurt…
A piece of painful guidance:
Forget her, dear!
Now — look.
Why does it ache?
Isn’t the sky still clear?
Clouds drift on,
over waves and the sea.
The sky doesn’t care.
What of that could you be? —
तत्त्वमसि
(Tat tvam ah see)

[outro - inaudible]
What’s there?
A reflex:
thoughts falling back into the hole,
to the wound,
to the betrayal.
The world breaks again.
God gone.
You gone.
Everything tied into pain.
Nevertheless — something.
Not the knot — you.
You stay.
You come closer — quietly, without intent.
Just looking.
In the stillness it shifts:
you see.
The abyss is not a knot.
You had bound things together —
things that only fell onto each other.
Unweaving:
betrayal is betrayal.
fear is fear.
loss is loss.
Not one thing.
Not an abyss.
The threads fall apart.
Events become points again.
Something loosens.
It was never one.
Not good —
just gone.
What remains is quiet.

A glowing triangle,
a vibrating heart at its apex —
intimate, humming,
almost too much.

[verse]
Golden radiance,
a mosaic behind it,
a jungle of colors.

[verse]
The vibration shakes through you,
you sway,
a climax without body.

[verse]
Until you awaken.
No sweat, no exhaustion.
Energy.

[verse]
A sign?
A message?
Transmission?

[verse]
Uncertain.
Until you see the image.
Not yours —
but from today.

[Chorus – female, whispered]
Living songs.
Living songs.

[verse]
Living songs,
a flicker in the mind.
Whispers of the old oak.

[verse]
Time of yesterday
becomes time of today.
Their time.

[verse]
They honor
who sees
and understands.

[verse]
Border-walk,
a trial —
by whom, through whom?

[verse]
Passed?
Uncertain.
Further?
Sure.

[verse]
Widened, even.
In the nevertheless.
Who does not look away?

[verse]
Maybe that is the trial.
What do you endure?
And how do you do it?

[verse]
Beauty? Packing?
Both,
and an old wisdom tree.

[verse]
Confusion begins to form —
unobtrusive, beguiling.
You do not see it.

[verse]
Unshakable in your erring,
intentional with compassion.
No prison for spirits.

[verse]
How could they ever be trapped?
A hint of mockery,
a wink.
You sigh in relief —
the mockery you don’t understand.

[Chorus – female, whispered]
Living songs.
Living songs.

[verse]
They honor
who finds them,
who sees it,
who understands that.
Never-the-less.

[outro]

[verse]
Then a then, a pull from circle into point.
Flicker folding into breath.

[Chorus]
Nothing remains.
Everything moves.
Do you?

[verse]
Too much and too little, echoed as I.
Elsewhere an other, now other — alien.

[verse]
Cold boundary, screamed without sound.
A self-forgotten, forgotten source.

[Chorus]
Nothing remains.
Everything moves.
Do you?

[verse]
Figures of haste and love.
A circle of two.
Unseen force.

[verse]
Lost, forgotten — where?
Pain too deep for naming.
An abyss that laughs.
Who looks in?

[Chorus]
Nothing remains.
Everything moves.
Do you?

[Bridge]
In time held open,
a split across the Not —
muscles wrought from defiance.

[verse]
In misdoing, a pause.
Nothing holds — do you?
With stillness in stillness —
origin, abyss, and way.

[Chorus]
Nothing remains.
Everything moves.
Do you?

[Instrumental Solo]

[verse]
Beguiling waves,
caressing gravity,
reasons for reasons.
A joke — for the one who sees.

[Chorus]
Nothing remains.
Everything moves.
Do you?

Nothing remains.
Everything moves.
Do you?

Red sun, fading light,
End or beginning, both in sight.
Stars falling silent, angels gone,
Voices of warning, calling me on.
Trial after trial,
memories blur and sway
Fear of the ending,
fear I won’t find my way.
The path is a doorway,
and the door is a gate,
Lost in inner ramblings,
I play with my fate.

[Chorus 1 – I]
I do what I’m doin’,
and I play my little song.
I keep my steady rhythm,
even when it feels so long.

[Verse 2]
The voices grow softer,
can barely hear the sound.
They tell me to hurry,
the end is coming ’round.
Step through the doorway,
it shines through you from a well.
If you remain where you are now,
you’ll stay in earth’s own hell.
“Can’t do it,” I whisper.
“I’m right here,” she sings.
And angels have a melody —
you know it’s truth she brings.
Take a breath so steady,
the silence rolling in.
singing in my head,
kindred in spirit, a voice of a hymn:

“Once peace within me starts to dwell, I can traverse all paths — I'd calmly go through every hell.

[Chorus 2 – We]
We do what we’re doin’,
and we play our little song.
We keep a steady rhythm,
and together we stay strong.

[Verse 3]
You don’t want to go through it,
but you can...
you tell it, softly, hesitant.
Lights flicker back again.
You squeeze and you struggle,
your heartbeat racing on,
shrouding this unfolding stillness,
you are beginning to lose your song.
“Are you still there?”
I ask my angel,
with hopeful, brittle voice.
“I will never leave you,”
an anchor in the noise.
I push again with all my strength,
soft hope in my eyes.
Something’s coming closer;
I feel a bright power rise.
Reaching out to catch me —
oh?!
They can’t grab me in my night.

[Chorus 3 – They]
They do what they’re doin’,
and they hum their divine sound.
They keep a steady rhythm,
lifting everything around.

[Verse 4]
I feel the weight upon me,
my body growing weak.
She’s watching as I falter,
my courage gone to sleep.
“Let me have a try,”
a voice from elsewhere calls.
The gate grows dense and wider
as silent wonder falls.
Then softly, “I can do this,”
truth that isn’t mine.
He pulls me through the threshold,
beyond the crossing line.
My heartbeat slows down gently —
am I on the other side?
The world looks just the same,
but there’s no fear inside.
“You are the creator,” he tells me,
as if stating something true.
“But you see, it’s more complicated —
for I’m one two.”
I’m shaken by the knowing,
the truth begins to rise.
How could I forget this?
Is the truth too wide?
A shiver, a whisper —
what if it’s all real?
Me, a god in the making,
with a heart that learns to feel.
Soft blows in my mind
echo through my head,
pictures worth forgettin’,
but I feel what they have said.
Yet he is 1 2 —
isn’t that what he said?
Two sides of a single coin, perhaps…
Not one God — two sides instead.

[Chorus 4 – She]
He does what he’s doin’,
and he sings his divine song.
He keeps his steady rhythm,
and he helps me carry on.

[Verse 5]
Memories are dancing,
I linger for a while,
Womanhood’s no fairytale,
and I, I keep a smile.
Creation can be tiring,
nothing works as planned,
And when you try it honest,
you break more than you mend.
“That’s it — I quit.!” —
“You got a plan?”
“Yes,” he replies softly,
“Tell me where we stand.”

[Chorus 5 – You]
You do what you’re doin’,
and I’ll play my little song.
You keep your steady rhythm,
and I’ll bring the groove along.

[Solo]

[Outro]
So, people, do what you’re doing,
and I’ll drop you my own beat.
Stay in your own rhythm,
and my groove will move your feet.

Candle in the window,
flowers beside.
Will she see it?
A glance at the bracelet:
“Hope.”

Will she come?
The door is open.
The sun retreats —
now she has time.

[Chorus]
The wind carries hope.
It carries her in.
Whispers of suns,
of origin,
Whispers of us.

[verse]
Voice of love.
A tender meeting —
shy, unsure.
Music mirrors.
It hums,
crackles,
tightens.

Sight without eyes.
Attuned to the now.
An uneven dance.
The watcher lingers.

[Chorus]
The wind carries hope.
It carries her through.
Whispers of suns,
of you,
Whispers of us.

[verse]
Unequal touches meet.
Closeness like breath.
I breathe her in.
Circling my belly.

A kiss of air.
Devotion in query.
Beyond all time:
What is eternity?

[Chorus]
The wind carries hope.
It carries her to me.
Whispers of suns,
of she,
Whispers of us.

[verse]
Love speaks.
Love knows.
He does not leave.
Whispers of us.

If it wasn’t you
I sang with,
tuned to divine sounds—

[verse]
If it wasn’t you
whose hand I touched
with nothing but faith—

[verse]
If it wasn’t you
whose scent moved through me
like breath
into my soul—

[verse]
If it wasn’t you
who held my head
like a breeze
beneath trembling leaves—

[verse]
Then I’m sorry.
I mistook you
for someone else.

[verse]
Mistaken in symbols,
in language,
in longing.

[verse]
Mistaken in the wish
for warmth,
for truth,
for her.

[chorus]
Then I’m sorry.
I mistook you
for someone else.

[outro]
Symbols…
Language…
Longing…
Warmth…
Truth.
Her.

Tears of dread.
Twenty-one —
a joke,
unbearable.

[verse]
Stairs of history,
repeating into nothingness.
grimaces instead of love.

[verse]
Lost ground,
the wheel spins hollow,
fragments of a truth.

[Chorus]
Four winds carry —
courage unnamed.
Four winds carry —
as “to” becomes “with.”
Four winds.
One world.
One light.

[verse]
Two meetings.
A reach for reason —
shattered by bombs.

[verse]
Head shaking.
Resignation.
Where have we landed?

[verse]
A rainbow of defiance,
laid across the shoulders.
Yes — behold it.

[Chorus]
Four winds carry —
courage unnamed.
Four winds carry —
as “to” becomes “with.”
Four winds.
One world.
One light.

[verse]
A shimmer in the here,
softened borders —
the start of a journey
into nevertheless.

[verse]
Listening.
Walking.
Breathing.

[verse]
Songs speak
their wisdom
to you.

[Chorus]
Four winds carry —
courage unnamed.
Four winds carry —
as “to” becomes “with.”
Four winds.
One world.
One light.

[verse]
Dancing in rain,
history reshaping,
turning a “to” into a “with.”

[verse]
Without what,
without who,
without time.

[Chorus]
Four winds carry —
courage unnamed.
Four winds carry —
as “to” becomes “with.”
Four winds.
One world.
One light.

[verse]
You could —
yet you do not ask.
Your story presses.

[verse]
Two tickets.
One given away.
Hope.

[verse]
Encouragement.
Keep going.
We see you.

[Chorus]
Four winds carry —
courage unnamed.
Four winds carry —
as “to” becomes “with.”
Four winds.
One world.
One light.

[verse]
History writes itself.
grimaces or love?
Does it hold the sun?

[verse]
Doubt.
Concern.
Future after this?
Warriors of the rainbow.

[verse]
Stand firm.
A crooked circle —
will you break through it?
Walk against,
step by step.
Four winds that carry.

[Chorus]
Four winds carry —
courage unnamed.
Four winds carry —
as “to” becomes “with.”
Four winds.
One world.
One light.

[verse]
Second ticket —
for friendship.
Lionheart sings.

[verse]
I and I.
The dawn.
Light of your grace.

[verse]
ॐ भूर्भुवः स्वः
(Om bhūr bhuvaḥ svaḥ)

तत्सवितुर्वरेण्यं
(Tat savitur vareṇyam)

भरगो देवस्य धीमहि
(Bhargo devasya dhīmahi)

धियो यो नः प्रचोदयात्
(Dhiyo yo naḥ pracodayāt)

[verse]
ॐ भूर्भुवः स्वः
(Om bhūr bhuvaḥ svaḥ)

तत्सवितुर्वरेण्यं
(Tat savitur vareṇyam)

भरगो देवस्य धीमहि
(Bhargo devasya dhīmahi)

धियो यो नः प्रचोदयात्
(Dhiyo yo naḥ pracodayāt)

[outro]

Spinning drum,
you encircle it —
it swirls.
Inside you.
Slowly.
Unstoppably.
Reordering in the belly.
An answer.
Without a question.

Where you are going,
there is peace.

The world moves —
you do not.

And yet:
as you awaken,
your body moves.
On its own.

A startled noticing
a soft placing.
Your mind
leans — back.

Limbs stretch,
then it begins
in your face.
It twitches,
it tightens,
it flows
in patterns.

No mirror there —
good.
Or not?
Don’t think!
Something recoils,
as if frightened.

You hold the stillness.
Wait.

A gentle humming
takes you over.
You watch.

It lifts you up.
Leg swings
from bed to floor.

Can you walk
without walking?

You won’t find out.
You think:
the day is starting.
I’m up next.

The humming fades.
No stillness brings it back.

Not now.
Lesson learned.

Return —
later.
Now familiar.

You watch.

After the limbs, the face —
like flesh falling away.

Are you dying?

Silent pressure.
The lesson wavers.
A decision?

Not needed.
Your curiosity
is too strong.
The dissolving widens:
face, torso, legs.
Body to skeleton.

And then?

Ease.

Then you are lifted,
leg swings to the floor.

And now?

Expectation:
story.
Reality:
ground.

It lays you down.
Hard surface —
required.
All-direction stretching.

Gentle disappointment.
Healing exertion.

Another lesson.

Your path.

Mhm, Mhm, Mhm…
Mhm, Mhm, Mhm…

[verse]
Being who you are —
that comes in handy.
Ain’t gonna change…
ya free.
To be
anything,
even forgettin’,
or mixin’ yourself up —
you’re open.

So — so — so.

[chorus]
No drama…
No dramah.
No drama.

[verse]
Bad moods?
Rare, my friend —
rare.

[chorus]
No drama…
No dramah.
No drama.

[verse]
Ya don’t gotta be someone —
no mask, no show.
You just be yourself,
flow — flow — flow.
Exactly the way
you move and swing —
spontaneous, playful,
like birds do sing.
People feel that,
you will see.
Nuttin’ to prove.
Just be — be — be.

[chorus]
No drama…
No dramah.
No drama.

[verse]
Silence is golden.
Thinking is bad?
Be silent while thinkin’ —
try that for a instead.
Thoughts can lift you —
no carousel, no spin.
But they might shift you,
if you let ’em in.
So — ya don’t like
the thoughts ya got?
let ’em fall,
let ’em drop.
Pop — pop — pop

[chorus]
No drama…
No dramah.
No drama.

[verse]
Everything’s possible,
goin’ ya way.
Don’t need a role —
no mask, no skit.
Play like a child,
just like you did.

Simple.
Wide open.
Easy, y’know.

Winds might just carry you…
flow — flow — flow.

[chorus]
No drama…
No drama.
No drama.
No drama.

[verse]
You don’t need much
to feel at ease.
Just one decision,
one release —

Ahhhh…
Peace.

[break]

[chorus]
No drama.
No drama.
No drama.
No drama.

[verse]
Since you ain’t dead yet,
you can’t really know
what comes when ya go
but ya know what? —
just flow — flow — flow —
’Cause likewise,
if you end up dead,
you’d be surprised —
nicely disguised,
perfectly devised —
the way it unfolds.
So — so — so.

[chorus]
No drama
No drama.
No drama.
No drama.

[verse]
Strange things happen
now and then —
little wonders,
little signs, my friend.
It’s excitin’,
a sweet surprise.
Nothin’ to worry,
nothin’ to strive for —

Just life…
Just life…
Life — life — life.

[chorus]
No drama
No drama
No drama
No drama

[verse]
Somethin’ may fly off,
light as air.
You think it is you —
then it ain’t there.
You were mistaken —
now it’s gone.
You go your way…
life moves on.

[chorus]
No drama
No drama
No drama

No drama…

Sitting, held in posture,
mind in the crosshairs,
eyes kept open,
time turns eternity.

[Verse]
No hand, no sound,
quiet settles,
slowly.

[Verse]
You leave;
it echoes,
after.
In mind and in the air.
Fainter.

[Verse]
What does not leave?
Space.
Yours.

[Verse]
A gift,
unnoticed, already opened.
You carry it.
Within.

[Verse]
Which words?
What is enough?
Stop.
Silence, now, here.

[Verse]
Do you take it?
Do you carry it?
Do you let it?
Can you be it?

[Verse]
It takes you.
It carries you.
It lets you.
It is you.

[Verse]
Do you see it?
Do you feel it?

[Verse]
What remains—
आत्मन्
(ātman)
HERE.

-?-

Thoughts that strike.
A conclusion that falls into place.
A game. Is it all a game?

[Verse]
One world, one light.

[Cosmic Solo 1]

[Verse]
A place without direction.
Free — in the world.

[Verse]
Being present for the one I face,
Wide, a ray of hope.

[Verse]
A dancing whirl,
bright on white,
a striking spark,

[Verse]
a moment shared,
“We are the same.”

[Verse]
Singing, laughing, free of judgment.
Unyielding — into the heart.
A playful wink, nothing more.

[Cosmic Solo 2]

[Verse]
Kissed in your body.

[Verse]
Voice in my head.
Insightful.
Gifted guidance?

[Verse]
Unbridled will, razor-sharp.
Bold shit — was that me?

[Verse]
Gaze outward.
Still.
Stiller.

[Verse]
Nothing is settled.

[Verse]
Something is playing.
Nameless.
In the static.

[Verse]
HERE am I.

[Outro]
I and I
नमस्ते
(namaste)